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| Ragnarok |
 Posted: 05/02/2008 14:11 PM Post subject: |
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Lord of Karma
Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 4809
14788.25 Spud Bux
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| Quote: | | I found cheat codes for life. |
Hmm, try typing in format c: at the prompt. |
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| grumpy |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 14:38 PM Post subject: |
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Captain
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 329
422.72 Spud Bux
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i found that to be as funny as this was.
Article: 25928 of rec.sport.paintball
Newsgroups: rec.sport.paintball
From: stevem@zimmer.CSUFresno.EDU (Steve Mitchell)
Subject: Re: BATF and silencers
Organization: CSU Fresno
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 1995 17:20:35 GMT
ATF AGENTS RAID PAINTBALL COMPOUND - STALEMATE
Associated Press
Fresno
Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms agents raided the house of Mr. and Mrs.
William and Dawn Mills of Fresno California today in a paint filled
raid that has ended in a stalemate.
The Fresno man was suspected of possession of knowledge and devices
which, if used illegally, would be illegal. "We had reason to believe
he knew how to make a firearms silencer using a toilet paper roll,"
said ATF agent Frank Samson, who claimed that todays grocery stores
are a "haven for psychos in the toilet paper/paper towel section."
The ATF agents raided the one story house shortly after noon today,
originally posing as Girl Scouts to gain entry. "I didn't think they
looked like Girl Scouts," said Dawn Mills in a telephone interview this
evening, "I was a Girl Scout. A lot of Girl Scouts were friends of
mine. Let me tell you, they were no Girl Scouts."
The ATF agents did not use real firearms in the raid today, instead
they used paintball marker guns. The paintball guns shoot non-lethal
paint pellets instead of real bullets. The paint pellets break upon
impact with objects or people, leaving a mark. The shooter then calls
the opponent "out." The use of non-lethal paintball markers was
adopted by ATF after the Waco incident. "We don't want to hurt
anybody. We just want to break down their door and scare the piss out
of them," said Samson, who stated, "we get off on the power and
authority thing."
But the Mills family had different ideas. "I was toying with the idea
of building an automation system onto my Nightmare when they came
through the door. The first guy shot at me but only got a bounce off
my arm. He yelled for a paintcheck, but I yelled 'no break buddy' and
lit him up," said William Mills. The paintfight continued in the Mills
living room.
"Boy can that guy work that pump," said Samson, "somebody should do
something about those autotriggers, we're getting outgunned out there
with our VM68s." Currently it is legal to own an autotrigger on a pump
paintgun in California. Agent Samson pointed out that, while the pump
gun William Mills was using is not technically a paintball "Assualt
Marker," it can fire nearly as fast. "We're lucky that we got a squad
into the Mills garage and got to their cache of semi-auto paintball
guns before they did," he said. When asked what might have happened if
Mr. Mills or his wife got to the Stingray assault-type semi-autos
first, Samson replied that he and his men would have been "toast."
Shortly after the shooting started one ATF agent was eliminated when
trying to gain entry into the Mills bathroom. "I was on the toilet
when I heard paintball guns going off in the living room," said Dawn
Mills. "I was about to yell at Bill to knock it off when a big fat AFT
agent tried to crash through that little bathroom window that is up
high in the shower." Dawn Mills said she quickly eliminated him with
the PGP pistol her husband had left in the bathroom earlier that day.
"He's constantly tinkering," she said. The AFT agent plugged the
window nicely, Mills said, and they have been passing the time together
in the bathroom discussing their respective pet dogs.
After several minutes of shooting in the living room, the AFT agents
began to run out of CO2 in their VM68 Assault Markers. "We had to
pull back outside the front door before that guy realized we were
running out of air and jumped up and painted the rest of us," said
Samson. The VM68 makes a very distinctive sound when it runs out of
CO2, he explained. The AFT agents have currently set up a command
center outside of the Mills home and are waiting for instructions
from Washington.
"I had my eyes closed the whole time," William Mills said, "because I
didn't have my goggles on. That's what pisses me off more than
anything--that they would shoot in here without everybody wearing eye
protection." The IPPA, a paintball player's association, is looking
into the safety of the raid. |
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| goathunter |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 15:00 PM Post subject: |
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The avatarless one
Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 688
510.74 Spud Bux
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| Quote: | | Another reason that this is fake is that they wouldn't arrest an 11 year old boy for something like that, it just wouldn't happen. |
Ironically an eleven year old boy was arrested and taken out of school about a week ago. His crime...his mother failed to pay the agreed medical bills for another family. Of course the other side of the story was the two boys had gotten into a fight and the mother was paying the bills of the kid who lost. Fact still remains all calls on decency dictate that children should never have to pay for parental ineptitude. |
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| paaiyan |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 15:02 PM Post subject: |
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Ascendant Defenestrator
Joined: 27 Dec 2006
Posts: 2109
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| jimmy101 |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 16:27 PM Post subject: |
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Lieutenant General
Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Posts: 2702
11300.57 Spud Bux
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| iPaintball wrote: | | Wow, it's ignorance like this that accounts for all of the stupidity in the world today. |
Yep, less than intelligent people who don't notice that it says "fake news" at the top. |
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| clide |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 21:44 PM Post subject: |
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Donating Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Posts: 790
2301.84 Spud Bux
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Hmm, looks like a lot of people here have faulty satire detectors. It is ridiculous as early as the second paragraph How could anyone really think this article was serious after reading the last paragraph?
Maybe some of you didn't get the recall notice sent out for a batch of satire detectors. If your satire detector model number starts with 8PQX then you will need a replacement. Please contact your satire detector manufacture for replacement instructions. |
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| MrCrowley |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 22:02 PM Post subject: |
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Kaleun
Joined: 23 Jun 2006
Posts: 7619
4936.83 Spud Bux
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| clide wrote: | | Maybe some of you didn't get the recall notice sent out for a batch of satire detectors. If your satire detector model number starts with 8PQX then you will need a replacement. Please contact your satire detector manufacture for replacement instructions. |
I believe I have the 8PQXi Sport model, should I still be concerned?
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| SpudMonster |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 22:36 PM Post subject: |
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1st Lieutenant
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 253
195.26 Spud Bux
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I just had an aneurysm from laughing so hard.
"Maybe no video games for a weekend?" |
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| MrCrowley |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 22:39 PM Post subject: |
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Kaleun
Joined: 23 Jun 2006
Posts: 7619
4936.83 Spud Bux
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My God that kid needs help. He pretty much wrote off a Dodge, damaged several other cars and gets charged with Grand Theft Auto and thinks no video games for a weekend will cover all of that?!
Maybe he's been playing too much Grand Theft Auto... 
Last edited by MrCrowley on 05/02/2008 22:49 PM; edited 1 time in total |
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| mega_swordman |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 22:47 PM Post subject: |
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Colonel
Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Posts: 532
965.52 Spud Bux
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| I think that it would be a bit excessive to charge the kid with Grand Theft Auto though. It seems to me that the kid doesn't fully understand what really happened. |
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| SpudMonster |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 22:49 PM Post subject: |
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1st Lieutenant
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 253
195.26 Spud Bux
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| mega_swordsman, your signature is surprisingly accurate in this case. |
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| bigbob12345 |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 22:49 PM Post subject: |
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Experienced n00b
Joined: 01 Dec 2007
Posts: 1515
370.57 Spud Bux
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Im extremely sorry to bother you with so many smiles, its just that this is soo funny
here a few more for you
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| mega_swordman |
| Posted: 05/02/2008 23:43 PM Post subject: |
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Colonel
Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Posts: 532
965.52 Spud Bux
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| bigbob12345 wrote: |
its just that this is soo funny
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Indeed, I too find the silliness of this all really amusing. I seem to prefer Grumpy's find a bit better though. |
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| starman |
| Posted: 05/03/2008 1:07 AM Post subject: |
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Big Daddio
Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Posts: 3057
7463.73 Spud Bux
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| mega_swordman wrote: | | I think that it would be a bit excessive to charge the kid with Grand Theft Auto though. It seems to me that the kid doesn't fully understand what really happened. |
He knew what he was doing...."it's fun to do bad things"...he learned that concept from someone around him. Responsible adults are absolutely MIA in this kids life. Unfortunately there's a lot of that going around these days. |
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| THUNDERLORD |
| Posted: 05/03/2008 1:29 AM Post subject: |
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Loose Cannon
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1301
3816.56 Spud Bux
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Previous Message deleted.
Last edited by THUNDERLORD on 05/06/2008 22:44 PM; edited 1 time in total |
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