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poem review (may or may not offend) (no flamers)

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Well?

lol, very nice
7
58%
ok
2
17%
no good
1
8%
it is unhumorous, sucky, and I am deeply offended
2
17%
 
Total votes : 12
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poem review (may or may not offend) (no flamers)

Unread postAuthor: FishBoy » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:33 pm

first off, I know this should be on theopia, but i don't have account and i don't have time/don't feel like making one. Anyway, this a poem a friend of mine did; I think its pretty good, but was wondering what others thought. Enjoy! :D

Lmao the world, God decreed.
N den there was lol.

Man check this garden of Edam crap.
Naked dude n girl.
And a snake (no planes).

“LOL Boobies” sed Adam to Eve.
“Take the apple faG,” Snake hissed like
some camper.
“Yum” Sed Eve.
“OH NOES!” Adam
“Pwned,” rofled snake.

Then some people made sum drama:
'wah wah, wahburger and cries!” shouted some
lollers from the sex pits
boning some big titted girls.
Sodom and Gamorah wuz where
that crap wuz at!

God smoted right den.
OH crap! FLOOD! Man, that God
just upped and drowned all the bitches!
Cept Noah, the pimp mack daddy of cool n his animal
house party in a boat. (Snakes on a boat! LMAO!)

Ok so den sum dude ran between the
sea with a bush on
fire (STDS!!!!) Man that moses, some kind of
superhero. Smashed a load of rocks and
killed egyptians. Cheeky jews.

Man, some plagues were going down,
and God was chillaxing in heven. Then he saw
that moses guy who sat on a mountain n died.
'Gg dawg, nextmap' sed God givin propz.
'Werd': moses.

Man then this little kid called david
picked up a stone n chucked it.
'crap' sed this Goliath dude n
got killed cos of a stone. Man
david must have been on steroids or sum crap.
Goliath wuz freakin massive, na'mean.

Ok then some stuff happened with religion
n people. Blood n fighting n crap.
Lols. It wuz violent then.

This King Herod fogel wuz all
'fork this diet – tyme to kill kids!' Cos
a witch told him he wuz goin to die
becoz of a kid or sumthing.

Mary lolled at some joseph guy n Jesus
da kid wuz born in a bunch of hay, crap what wuz that
all about? The horses n animals all braying, and a star on
the night.

Three dudes with a few presents did some stuff.
Then a bunch of stuff with some kings and a few hebrews.
Sea all up in this ocizzle and kings getting killed.
Bloody old times, na'mean?

Den Jesus, mah homedawg entered da scene.
'Sup'” sed god's son.
“nm, u?” sed da world.
“nm” sed Jesus.

Jesus talkeda buncha, hebrews and aborigines listened
and this led to some kind of rebellion with a load
of rocks.
All the olden peoples used rocks n crap
when they wuz having fights.

Sum john guy sat in rivers
and tried to put peeps heds in the lake.
Man, he weren't drowning no one.
Just baptiding them with water on the
fayse.

Sum bread n fish made a dinner for a crowd.
Water got some dudes drunk, cos of Jesus. He
wuz all like 'Dudes, check out my powaz!'
N the water was wine.
(wine lollin!)

Lazarus! This dude got all deaded
n Jesus sed 'No way dude, u r 2 kewl'
Felt him up and the guy
wuz all walking around with robes on.

Sum dudes started fishing with Jesus.
“Sup,” sed Peter.
“Lets go teach,” sed Jesus.
“kk boss,” sed the gyse. They all named
disiples n followed Jesus around.

People watched Jesus chattin about
things. Jesus wuz like
'Meek gyse are taken the
earth, ok?”
N everyone sed “Fo sho jizzle.”

“Dudes!” sed Jesus. “Lets build a church, k?”
“lolwhat?” sed The disiple.
Jesus rofled. “U gyse listen. A place where
all these dudes listen about shiznit.”
“Man, that is gewd.” said Peter.
Jesus Church Pimp pad wus built n
people all visited that heezy

Man, them romans started getting pissed.
“Leethax” sed Jesus in some temple.
Coins all over the flizzle!
I'd have picked that crap up.
Dollaz for ho's, namean.

'O crap!' sed Jesus, n dis Judas guy kissed his face.
'Lolfag' sed Petre.
N den jesus wus tekn n stripped.
Man, lotsa crying from the gyse in gefsamany
(another garden LOL)

Man, den Jesus died on some wood in the air.
Judas fell off a chair
and Peter sed sumthing about a pot.

It was the end, till Marian Magdalana spoke
sum words the bible
was free.

N den Jesus floated on water n went
to hevan.
Moses n God greeted him.
"Rofl" sed jesus.
"U done well dude" God sed.

“KK tyme to kill the world,” sed God.
“man what?” sed Jesus
'Hell is goin to be hitting up
that world, dude! Revelations.”
“awwwww hell naw,” Moses seded.


Da end
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Unread postAuthor: sgort87 » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:59 pm

The beginning third or so was funny as hell! It kinda went downhill after that though.

"snakes on a boat! LMAO"... bahahahah!
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Unread postAuthor: Fnord » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:05 pm

I don't recall ever seeing a snake "rofl", though I bet it would be interesting.
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Unread postAuthor: Ragnarok » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:10 pm

I more or less agree with Gort. Good overall, but the first part is definitely stronger than the rest.

Has your friend been reading the Lolcat bible? (Warning, the lolcat bible should be taken as completely tongue-in-cheek.)
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Unread postAuthor: jackssmirkingrevenge » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:43 am

How about writing it in English?
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Unread postAuthor: MrCrowley » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:54 am

jackssmirkingrevenge wrote:How about writing it in English?

I spent three years learning German and I can't understand a word of this!
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Unread postAuthor: john bunsenburner » Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:53 am

The most disturbing thing about this is that i know/ have heard people talk or chat like that. Very amusing, i think if they read that in church alot of people would have an aha! moment. Any way I agree with the others, te firs tpart is deinately the strongest. Good job to you friend, congrats!


P.S. I wonder what my english teacher would give for a grade if i tried handing somethign like that in...
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Unread postAuthor: FishBoy » Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:08 am

john bunsenburner wrote:P.S. I wonder what my english teacher would give for a grade if i tried handing somethign like that in...


that would be quite funny. my english teacher is actually a 70 yr old guy, so i doubt he could read it.
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Unread postAuthor: john bunsenburner » Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:57 am

My english teacher is around 30, a woman from boston and she is my german teacher's wife. She is extremly nice and i have never seen her scream or get angry, htough might might change if I handed the above in :D
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Unread postAuthor: Ragnarok » Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:54 am

Heh. I know English teachers that would undergo a myocardial infarction if they received that on their desks.

Mind you, my art teacher would probably do the same if I'd shown her what I was drawing these days. One, it's not her kind of thing. Two, she'd be in shock that I was actually drawing of my own accord. Three, last time I saw her, I really couldn't draw.
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Unread postAuthor: psycix » Sun Mar 08, 2009 4:15 pm

Nao dat waz a rly gud roflpoem!
Furst part woz deffinaitly ze best lol.

Snake srsly roxorz boxorz roflpwning da nubs.
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Unread postAuthor: john bunsenburner » Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:48 am

I dont know about you rag but i see a prank coming up next time I need to write a poem...
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Unread postAuthor: Ragnarok » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:59 am

@john bunsenburner: Oh dear. My wolf sense is tingling... I can tell something bad is about to happen.
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Unread postAuthor: john bunsenburner » Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:03 pm

*takes out a bone* I know you want it rag now lie down do a roll and stop barking, or she *points at imaginary english teacher* might hear you!
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Unread postAuthor: jrrdw » Mon Mar 09, 2009 4:16 pm

Get off your ass and make a account over at Theopia. I agree with MrCrowley, I couldn't decipher it either. We should be able to take text talkers to the woodshed here at Spudfiles.

I vote "it is unhumorous, sucky, and I am deeply offended".

Hey, I like a good laugh as well, but I have to be able to read it.
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