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Cow Economics

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Cow Economics

Unread postAuthor: inonickname » Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:52 am

A Cow Based Economics Lesson:

Socialism

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Communism

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism

You have two cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

Royal Bank of Scotland (Venture) Capitalism

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer do that you get all four cows back, with a tax expemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

Surrealism

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

An American Corporation

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A French Corporation

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation

You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

An Italian Corporation

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A Swiss Corporation

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A British Corporation

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

An Iraqi Corporation

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you now have a democracy.

An Australian Corporation

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A New Zealand Corporation

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

:D
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Unread postAuthor: jakethebeast » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:40 am

LOL :D :D :D
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Unread postAuthor: POLAND_SPUD » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:16 am

Nazism

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
let me rewrite it to be more accurate...

You have two cows.
The State steals two cows from neighbouring countries and gives them to you. In return you invade the entire europe and gas the jews.

But don't worry it doesn't matter you did that - your government is responsible as they told you it's 100% ok


Lol history is the best joke
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Unread postAuthor: jrrdw » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:50 am

Didn't I post this on Theopia???
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Unread postAuthor: jackssmirkingrevenge » Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:05 pm

jrrdw wrote:Didn't I post this on Theopia???


I'm guessing the last one is a jab at MrC ;)
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Unread postAuthor: jrrdw » Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:17 pm

No, I got this very thing in a email and used to post a bunch of them on Theopia...It's been a long time though, I'm not complaining it's a funny read.
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Unread postAuthor: MrCrowley » Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:40 pm

jackssmirkingrevenge wrote:
jrrdw wrote:Didn't I post this on Theopia???


I'm guessing the last one is a jab at MrC ;)

It's actually part of the original joke :(

Someone forwarded this to me a few years back.
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Unread postAuthor: inonickname » Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:46 pm

MrCrowley wrote:
jackssmirkingrevenge wrote:
jrrdw wrote:Didn't I post this on Theopia???


I'm guessing the last one is a jab at MrC ;)

It's actually part of the original joke :(

Someone forwarded this to me a few years back.


This is in return for the cricket! :lol:

Edit: jrrdw, not sure. It's from an economics handout (not mine)... I read it and thought of our resident sheep aficionado :P
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Unread postAuthor: jrrdw » Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:20 pm

Edit: jrrdw, not sure. It's from an economics handout (not mine)... I read it and thought of our resident sheep aficionado


BHAHAHAHAAA! Or should I say baaaa....baaaa
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