Anger Management
Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:07 pm
FWD from my wife...
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know. Take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying "Hello.
I politely said, "This is Gail. Could I please speak with Richard?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Richard's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with him, I decided to call the "wrong" number again (using a voice disguising device.) When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're idiot!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word "IDIOT" next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an idiot!"
It always cheered me up.
When caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "idiot calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, This is Gail from NTT. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an IDIOT!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first idiot (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW idiot too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 101 Main St. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Ken," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Ken?"
"I'm home every evening after six."
"Listen, Ken, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Ken, you're an idiot!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two idiots to call. Then I came up with an idea and I called idiot #1. "Hello"
"You're an idiot!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Ken."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"IDIOT, I live at 101 Main St, a yellow house, with black BMW park in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Ken. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, idiot," and hung up.
Then I called IDIOT #2. "Hello?"! he said.
"Hello, idiot," I said.
"I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed.
I answered back, "Well, idiot, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I live at 101 Main St and that I was on my way over to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the gang war going down on Main St.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Main St. I got there just in time to watch two idiots beating the poop out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know. Take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying "Hello.
I politely said, "This is Gail. Could I please speak with Richard?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Richard's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with him, I decided to call the "wrong" number again (using a voice disguising device.) When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're idiot!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word "IDIOT" next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an idiot!"
It always cheered me up.
When caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "idiot calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, This is Gail from NTT. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an IDIOT!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first idiot (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW idiot too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 101 Main St. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Ken," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Ken?"
"I'm home every evening after six."
"Listen, Ken, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Ken, you're an idiot!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two idiots to call. Then I came up with an idea and I called idiot #1. "Hello"
"You're an idiot!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Ken."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"IDIOT, I live at 101 Main St, a yellow house, with black BMW park in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Ken. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, idiot," and hung up.
Then I called IDIOT #2. "Hello?"! he said.
"Hello, idiot," I said.
"I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed.
I answered back, "Well, idiot, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I live at 101 Main St and that I was on my way over to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the gang war going down on Main St.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Main St. I got there just in time to watch two idiots beating the poop out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works.