Spudguns and The Law In Australia
Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:51 am
Hi all,
Since my first post http://www.spudfiles.com/forums/viewtop ... 7e0741d3a6 was locked because of Americas tight restrictions on homemade explosives (understandably) I've come up with something else I might be able to help Australians with, ways to avoid getting in trouble with the law for owning/making/selling a spud gun/s and if you are in trouble how to get out of it. I speak from experience on this subject, believe it or not in my 18 short years on this earth I have been in trouble 6 different times to do with spud guns and 3 different times to do with homemade explosives, but I don't think I can get into that because my post might get locked. This is the first edition to my chronicle of spud gun offences, you can look forward to more over the coming days because I cant be stuffed writing them all at once, plus the Ashes cricket tests are on and we a slaughtering those stupid pommy English bastards.
The cops took my first gun when I was 12, I remember It like it was yesterday.....It was a hot summer afternoon in a time me and my mates still refer to as "the stone age", you can probably guess why. Maybe because we spent most of the day and night wandering between different parks, schools, peoples houses and bush land finding new and exciting ways to kill brain cells and time. This particular month happened to be the bulk rubbish pickup where everyone puts all their junk out on the curb while scabs drive around with trailers picking up anything good before the rubbish trucks come. We were jumping on this dodgy old trampoline out the front of some ones house, we were completely out of it, next thing the springs break and we all fall through landing on a 6ft long piece of pipe that flared out at the end and had a thread but no lid. One of the blokes I was with said he knew what it was and that It would fire lemons like a kilometer, we all thought he was full of it, so we went to my next door neighbors house who was away on holidays, we unscrewed a big lid off this pipe that took their sewage down from the second floor, we also managed to rip out an igniter from their water heater (kids can be so cruel) We then got some lemons and went down the park, we sprayed some deodorant in and hit the button, the recoil knocked me on my arse and the lemon hurtled through the air across the road and hit some guys parked car setting off the alarm, we all bailed to the "bong base" and layed low for a while. Once the car thing blew over we returned to the same place (first mistake) and began sending mortar rounds straight up in the air landing them hundreds of metes away on peoples roofs. We were having the time of our lives we were firing lemons at each other trying to hit them with a cricket bat (second mistake) until me mate copped one in the leg and couldn't walk.We were sitting down under a tree when 2 cars drove onto the oval one cop car and one security they sped towards us and we all started to bail except my best mate whos leg was stuffed, I tryed to pull him along with me but he fell, then I got hit by a train a big fat moari (the blacks of New Zealand) he put his knee in my back and handcuffed me, my mate got the same treatment. They informed us that they had had numerous reports of dented cars smashed windscreens and that someone had been hit by something on the main road (bout 5 hundred meters away) and had swirved and hit another car causing a traffic jam. Obviously we said we didn't know anything about it (considering the charges that we were facing) The bag of lemons next to us looked pretty suss though, we told them we were selling lemonade which they didn't buy, luckily the spud gun was off to the side in the bush and couldn't be seen. "al right then you little s.h.i.t.s your coming down the station. One of the guys who got away, his dad was a high ranking police officer at the local station, thats when I had an idea "my dads going to hear about this" I told the fat darky who tackled me "I dont give a s.h.i.t" he yelled about 5 cm away from my face "now get in the f.u.c.k.i.n.g car" "I bet your boss wouldn't be too happy about you using excessive force against 10 year olds" (I could pass for ten) "look what you did to my mates leg" he showed this huge bruise from the spud gun. They looked at each other "whos your dad" one asked "Senior Sergeant Smith" (cant remember what I said) they walked off into the bush to talk, then one of them tripped on the lemon launcher and fell over we both cracked up laughing. One hobbled to the car with the gun and put it in the boot, the other came and undid our handcuffs "you two stay out of trouble" "blow it out your arse" I told him. As they drove of we threw lemons at their car and laughed.
What have we learned from this long winded boring story? Well not a whole lot I kinda got sidetracked with my trip down memory lane and forgot about what I was meant to be writing about. One tip is to try to find the name of some high ranking police officers, judges and lawyers and say you are their son. Then claim police brutality and maybe you will get a dumb cop who believes you and backs off, this may only work in smallish towns though and if there is only one or two coppers. Another idea is not to shoot stuff in the day its too easy for some nosy prick to see you and call the cops. A lot of cops have never seen a spud gun before and a bit of pipe with a black thing out the end could be anything especially if you throw away the lid with the igniter on. Some excuses to use are: its a lacrosse stick (that weird game how you catch a ball in a cup like thing on a stick) its a bat, its for throwing a tennis ball for my dog (bring your dog), my dads a plumber and I found this pipe in a dumpster I thought he could use it, its for launching model rockets, its a confetti cannon, its a cricket/baseball pitcher, its a tshirt launcher, and so on you get the idea.One thing I always do these days is write on the side of the cannon "Auto Fishing Caster", "Confetti Cannon" or "Auto Bowler/Pitcher" its a great way to help convince a leanient cop that a friend got it for you and you don't know what a spud gun is. Often If a neighbor or someone has called the cops on you for the constant explosions or because you put a lemon sized hole through their fence/window, you can claim that it exploded or that your girlfriend/father smashed the gun because it was dangerous (have some smashed PVC on hand) I have tryed this one and it definitely works, I got to keep my gun and the cops just gave me a verbal warning because they had no gun for evidence I think. Anyway I'm too drunk to keep typing I'll try to make my next post more interesting and I'll write sober so it makes more sense.
Take it easy,
Watto Watson
Since my first post http://www.spudfiles.com/forums/viewtop ... 7e0741d3a6 was locked because of Americas tight restrictions on homemade explosives (understandably) I've come up with something else I might be able to help Australians with, ways to avoid getting in trouble with the law for owning/making/selling a spud gun/s and if you are in trouble how to get out of it. I speak from experience on this subject, believe it or not in my 18 short years on this earth I have been in trouble 6 different times to do with spud guns and 3 different times to do with homemade explosives, but I don't think I can get into that because my post might get locked. This is the first edition to my chronicle of spud gun offences, you can look forward to more over the coming days because I cant be stuffed writing them all at once, plus the Ashes cricket tests are on and we a slaughtering those stupid pommy English bastards.
The cops took my first gun when I was 12, I remember It like it was yesterday.....It was a hot summer afternoon in a time me and my mates still refer to as "the stone age", you can probably guess why. Maybe because we spent most of the day and night wandering between different parks, schools, peoples houses and bush land finding new and exciting ways to kill brain cells and time. This particular month happened to be the bulk rubbish pickup where everyone puts all their junk out on the curb while scabs drive around with trailers picking up anything good before the rubbish trucks come. We were jumping on this dodgy old trampoline out the front of some ones house, we were completely out of it, next thing the springs break and we all fall through landing on a 6ft long piece of pipe that flared out at the end and had a thread but no lid. One of the blokes I was with said he knew what it was and that It would fire lemons like a kilometer, we all thought he was full of it, so we went to my next door neighbors house who was away on holidays, we unscrewed a big lid off this pipe that took their sewage down from the second floor, we also managed to rip out an igniter from their water heater (kids can be so cruel) We then got some lemons and went down the park, we sprayed some deodorant in and hit the button, the recoil knocked me on my arse and the lemon hurtled through the air across the road and hit some guys parked car setting off the alarm, we all bailed to the "bong base" and layed low for a while. Once the car thing blew over we returned to the same place (first mistake) and began sending mortar rounds straight up in the air landing them hundreds of metes away on peoples roofs. We were having the time of our lives we were firing lemons at each other trying to hit them with a cricket bat (second mistake) until me mate copped one in the leg and couldn't walk.We were sitting down under a tree when 2 cars drove onto the oval one cop car and one security they sped towards us and we all started to bail except my best mate whos leg was stuffed, I tryed to pull him along with me but he fell, then I got hit by a train a big fat moari (the blacks of New Zealand) he put his knee in my back and handcuffed me, my mate got the same treatment. They informed us that they had had numerous reports of dented cars smashed windscreens and that someone had been hit by something on the main road (bout 5 hundred meters away) and had swirved and hit another car causing a traffic jam. Obviously we said we didn't know anything about it (considering the charges that we were facing) The bag of lemons next to us looked pretty suss though, we told them we were selling lemonade which they didn't buy, luckily the spud gun was off to the side in the bush and couldn't be seen. "al right then you little s.h.i.t.s your coming down the station. One of the guys who got away, his dad was a high ranking police officer at the local station, thats when I had an idea "my dads going to hear about this" I told the fat darky who tackled me "I dont give a s.h.i.t" he yelled about 5 cm away from my face "now get in the f.u.c.k.i.n.g car" "I bet your boss wouldn't be too happy about you using excessive force against 10 year olds" (I could pass for ten) "look what you did to my mates leg" he showed this huge bruise from the spud gun. They looked at each other "whos your dad" one asked "Senior Sergeant Smith" (cant remember what I said) they walked off into the bush to talk, then one of them tripped on the lemon launcher and fell over we both cracked up laughing. One hobbled to the car with the gun and put it in the boot, the other came and undid our handcuffs "you two stay out of trouble" "blow it out your arse" I told him. As they drove of we threw lemons at their car and laughed.
What have we learned from this long winded boring story? Well not a whole lot I kinda got sidetracked with my trip down memory lane and forgot about what I was meant to be writing about. One tip is to try to find the name of some high ranking police officers, judges and lawyers and say you are their son. Then claim police brutality and maybe you will get a dumb cop who believes you and backs off, this may only work in smallish towns though and if there is only one or two coppers. Another idea is not to shoot stuff in the day its too easy for some nosy prick to see you and call the cops. A lot of cops have never seen a spud gun before and a bit of pipe with a black thing out the end could be anything especially if you throw away the lid with the igniter on. Some excuses to use are: its a lacrosse stick (that weird game how you catch a ball in a cup like thing on a stick) its a bat, its for throwing a tennis ball for my dog (bring your dog), my dads a plumber and I found this pipe in a dumpster I thought he could use it, its for launching model rockets, its a confetti cannon, its a cricket/baseball pitcher, its a tshirt launcher, and so on you get the idea.One thing I always do these days is write on the side of the cannon "Auto Fishing Caster", "Confetti Cannon" or "Auto Bowler/Pitcher" its a great way to help convince a leanient cop that a friend got it for you and you don't know what a spud gun is. Often If a neighbor or someone has called the cops on you for the constant explosions or because you put a lemon sized hole through their fence/window, you can claim that it exploded or that your girlfriend/father smashed the gun because it was dangerous (have some smashed PVC on hand) I have tryed this one and it definitely works, I got to keep my gun and the cops just gave me a verbal warning because they had no gun for evidence I think. Anyway I'm too drunk to keep typing I'll try to make my next post more interesting and I'll write sober so it makes more sense.
Take it easy,
Watto Watson
I have maori friends and they are pretty much tanks. You must of got f*k'd up mate. 
He's a mint batsman to watch.
" just to get these imaginary bux
you got me